Coming Attractions for... it's MARCH already!?

Well assballs. I clearly will have to start scheduling a time, in my phone's calendar - with an alarm - in order to get my shit together about this blogging thing.  It's not like anything good came out in Jan or Feb anyway, being pre-Oscar season and all. Anyhoozzles, here's what looks good this month;

March 2

Being Flynn

Robert DeNiro, Paul Dano, Julianne Moore, 

Directed by Paul Weitz.

Based on the memoir Another Bullshit Night in Suck City by Nick Flynn, this is about about Flynn's (played by Dano) time working in a Boston homeless shelter where he re-encounters his estranged father (a self-proclaimed poet and con man) and the struggle with letting him back into his already unstable life. It was a pretty good book (how could I resist that title?) and the cast is impressive, so this is a definite maybe.

Dr. Seuss' The Lorax

Voice talents of Danny Devito, Zach Efron, Taylor Swift, Ed Helms.

Directed by Chris Renaud and Kyle Balda.

I have mixed feelings on this one. You see, I grew up on the story and the 70's animated version with the bright colors, orchestral music, and the voice of Bob Holt proclaiming for the trees. DeVito, while a good enough actor, has a very distinctive and recognizable voice which, for me, brings up memories of The Penguin or Martini. I fear this may create a disconnect for me if/when I see this flick. Also, Dr. Seuss wrote short books for short people, so I'm curious about the story treatment and added elements that they've given the original work to pull it out into a full length animation. I did think that Illumination Entertainment's Despicable Me was pretty cute/funny, so that gives a glint of hope to this. 

March 9

Friends with Kids

Jennifer Westfeldt, Adam Scott, Maya Rudolph, Chris O'Dowd, Kristen Wiig, John Hamm.

Directed by Jennifer Westfeldt

Best friends Jason and Julie forego the bullshit by deciding to have a child together while remaining platonic, thus avoiding the toll kids can have on a romantic relationship.  Yeah, that'll work. But I enjoy odd relationship movies. Also, look at that cast list, it's like a mini Bridesmaids reunion!

John Carter
Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Willem Dafoe, Mark Strong.

Directed by Andrew Stanton

At first I knew very little of this story and it's history and based my then lackluster thoughts of this flick on the casting of Kitsch and Collins, who were cast-mates in the the abysmal X-Men Origins:Wolverine movie. Then a good friend gave me a good synopsis of the story and explained the history of the John Carter of Mars stories (aka the Barsoom series) to me; that they were over a century old, some of the original materials on which many of today's sci-fi tropes are based, and originally written not as serials. My interest has been piqued by this information and the fact that the supporting cast is stellar - Ciaran Hinds, THomas Hayden Church, James Purefoy, Bryan Cranston - and the director is the same responsible for WALL-E and Finding Nemo. Also, there have been several articles about the fact that Disney has marketed this movie all wrong; to the point that a fan edited together their own trailer, which makes it look tenfold more interesting and cool. So I've turned around and want to see this flick. I want to read the stories even more though. 

March 16

Detatchment

Adrien Brody, Christina Hendricks, Marcia Gay Harden, William Peterson, Bryan Cranston, James Caan.

Directed by Tony Kaye

Brody plays a substitute teacher, used to drifting among schools and classrooms, who finds a connection with the students and teachers at his latest assignment. The producer of The Hurt Locker teaming up with American History X director Kaye? Yep, I'm in. I wonder if Cranston will play a science teacher?

March 23

The Hunger Games

Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Helmsworth, Woody Harrelson, Lennie Kravtiz.

Directed by Gary Ross

Based on the popular AND excellent YA series by Suzanne Collins. Katniss must find a way to survive a barbaric annual event where each of the 12 districts that surround The Capitol must give, via lottery, two "Tributes" (one boy, one girl, between the ages of 12 and 18) to play in the titular arena until only one is left. I love dystopia sci-fi and this series. Everything I have read to this point about the film leads me to believe it will be a well done and fairly faithful adaption of the book. This is my must-see movie of the month!

March 30

Goon

Seann William Scott, Jay Baruchel, Liev Schreiber, Alison Pill, 

Directed by Michael Dowse

Scott plays a bouncer who's not the brightest crayon in the box, but overcomes a ton of odds when he's hired to lead a hockey team of misfits to semi-pro glory one punch at a time. I just have to say; HOCKEY MOVIE!!! w00t!!! There simply aren't enough of these around compared to other sports-centric films. This has some definite nods to slap shot from the look of the trailer. 

Wrath of the Titans

Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Rosemund Pike, BIlly Nighy, Danny Huston.

Directed by Jonathan Liebsman

Yes, they made a sequel...and it looks awesome. Sam Worthington is back as Perseus, who must save his father, Liam Neeson as Zeus, from the underworld where he's been kidnapped by his son, Ares, and brother, Hades, as they unleash the Titans upon the human world. Seriously, the trailer looks great and features Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams" cover. Check out those effects!

WTF o' the Month

21 Jump Street the movie? Starring Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill? Sooo...somebody was feeling reminscent of 80's TV while shitting a gruesome combo of Taco Bell and White Castle onto a script page? And booze probably had something to do with this creation. Lots of booze. Likely cheap beer.

The Dark Knight Rises trailer

The official The Dark Knight Rises trailer has been released!!!

Cue mind-shattering nerdgasm...now.

Damn. I need a cigarette after that.

Coming Attractions: September Edition

I know you are probably saying to me/yourself, "But, September is almost over."  And I'm replying, "Yeah. So? Fuck you."

The Debt (8/31)
Who's in it:  Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, Ciaran Hinds, Sam Worthington; Directed by John Madden (Shakespeare in Love, Proof).
What's the gist:  An espionage thriller that builds across two different time periods. In 1997, retired Mossad secret agents Rachel and Stefan receive disturbing news about their former colleague David.  In 1966 the trio undertook a dangerous mission when they entered East Berlin and tracked down a Nazi war criminal, Vogel (a character loosely based on Mengele).  They have been revered by their country for decades for their accomplishments on this mission - but was their work really finished?
Why I'd see it: Did you see that list of talent?  All that tied up in a Holocaust espionage thriller?  Fuck yeah I wan to see it.

Apollo 18 (9/2)
Who's in it:  I dunno, they weren't listed on IMDb. Directed by Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego.
What's the gist:  Decades-old footage from NASA's rumored Apollo 18 mission, where two American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, is found.  The footage reveals the reason (aliens?) the U.S. has never returned to the moon.
Why I'd see it:  This is a "maybe" on my list.  I do like the idea of revisionist history which this clearly is.  Also, while watching the trailer I found myself remembering the movie Moon with Sam Rockwell (great flick), which drew me into it a bit more.  My disinclination comes in that the trailer also makes it look as though this could be just some horror flick, but possibly a decent one.

Contagion (9/9)
Who's in it:  Marion Cotillard, Kate Winslet, Matt Damon, Gwenyth Paltrow, Laurence Fishburne, Jennifer Ehle, Dmetri Martin, Jude Law; Directed by Steven Soderbergh.
What's the gist: This drama follows the rapid progress of a lethal airborne virus. As the epidemic grows, we see the global medical community race to find a cure and control the panic that is spreading faster than the virus itself. We also see ordinary people struggle to survive a society slipping into chaos.
Why I'd see it: Not gonna lie, finding out Demitiri Martin plays a doctor in this increased my interest in seeing it a significant amount in comparison to my previous level of interest in seeing it. Otherwise it just seems like a modern reboot of 1995's Outbreak. The Dmitri Martin factor moves this one to the high end of the "maybe" list.

50/50 (9/30)
Who's in it:  Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick, Angelica Huston; Directed by Jonathan Levine
What's the gist:  A comedic account of a 27-year-old man's cancer diagnosis and the subsequent life changes it causes as he goes about fighting it.
Why I'd see it:  This flick is #1 on my list this month. The plot and trailer look HI.LAR.IOUS. I also love Joseph Gordon-Levitt. That man's talent could make an 5 minute artistic short of dropping a deuce in a paper sack appealing.

Dream House (9/30)
Who's in it:  Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts; directed by Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot, The Boxer).
What's the gist:  A man and his family relocate to a quaint New England town. They soon learn that a mother and her two daughters were murdered in the residence they've moved into. The man works with a local woman to piece together the disturbing puzzle.
Why I'd see it:  The premise hints a bit at Amityville Horror, but the trailer hints that this is a darker, more supernatural plot and possibly a higher caliber of horror.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (9/30)
Who's in it:  Alan Tudyk, Tyler Labine; Directed by Eli Craig.
What's the gist:  In the mountains of West Virginia, hillbilly pals Tucker and Dale just want to drink, fish, and relax at their cabin retreat, but their encounter with a group of college kids turns into a bloody, deadly (and funny) misunderstanding.
Why I'd see it:  A spoofish play on all those horrible horror flicks involving stupid college/high school kids? Sure.  Alan Tudyk is in it? Hell yes!

What's Your Number (9/30)
Who's in it:  Anna Farris, Chris Evans, Martin Freeman, Aziz Ansari, Joel McHale, Zachary Quinto, Thams Lennon; Directed by Mark Mylod.
What's the gist:  A woman looks back at the past twenty men she's had relationships with in her life and wonders if one of them might be her one true love
Why I'd see it:  Yeah, it's clear where this romantic comedy is going, given that it was created by two female sitcom writers.  Appealing to me is Chris Evans and the slew of comedic men that play Anna Farris's exes.

Other Bits

• There's a quirky relationship flick with limited [LA/NYC] release titled Restless that looks to have some precious potential.  Directed by Gus Van Sant, it stars Mia Wasikowska (Alice in Wonderland)as a terminally ill girl who falls for a boy, played by Henry Hopper (son of Dennis), who likes to attend funerals.  Throw in their interactions with the ghost of a WWII Japanese kamikaze pilot (played by Ryo Kase) and this flick smacks of something I want to see.  Hope it hits our neck of the woods soon.
• Machine Gun Preacher - The title + Gerard Butler's involvement totally makes it sound like something I'd see!  The trailer makes it clear that this flick is way to inspirational/touching for my current mood.  This will be a Netflixer for sure.
• Disney re-releases The Lion King into theaters, now in 3D. Way to beat a dead zebra Disney. How about coming out with something equally good, original and not PIXAR animated?
• Moneyball - I don't care enough about the talent involved or baseball to see this flick that's already getting Oscar gossip.

First Glimpse of Hathaway as Catwoman

Warner Bros. released the first promo image of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman this week! 

Hathaway can't reveal much about the role ("I signed a blood oath" she says), but she is looking forward to portraying such an iconic character.

"I want to be the best actress I can be and that means working with the best people and taking the most challenging roles," she tells Total Film.  "That's the plan and so far it's led to some really exciting places."

Frankly Anne, I'm just excited Catwoman/ you get that bad ass bike!

(photo and quote source)

Coming Attractions: August Edition

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (8/5)
Who's in it:  James Franco, Frieda Pinto, John Lithgow, Andy Serkis, Brian Cox; Directed by Rupert Wyatt
What's the gist:  A scientist (Franco) is developing a cure for Alzheimer's and performs a test on a chimp named Caesar. The experiment results in Caesar gaining advanced intelligence and bringing about a war for supremacy between humans and apes.
Why I'd see it:  I've only seen one other film within the series, so I'm not exactly a fan. That said, this trailer looks phenomenal. And the origin story is usually the most interesting, this one looks to be no exception. They lined up a great cast (hey look, it's John Lithgow!) and the effects are done by the spectacular Weta Workshop (masters behind The Lord of the Rings films among others).  Lastly, I'm looking forward to watching Tom Felton (aka Draco Malfoy) get beat up by some apes.

The Whistleblower (8/5)
Who's in it:  Rachel Weisz, David Strathairn, Monica Bellucci, Vanessa Redgrave; Directed by Larysa Kondracki.
What's the gist:  Weisz portrays Kathryn Bolkovac, a cop out of Nebraska serving as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia.  In the course of doing her job, she outs the U.N. for covering sex trafficking. This is a drama based on real events.
Why I'd see it:  I'm a sucker for a talented cast. I also occasionally enjoy the not-so-happy ending that independent films usually offer and this one seems a ringer for that.

30 Minutes or Less (8/12)
Who's in it:  Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari, Nick Swardson; Directed by Ruben Fleischer.
What's the gist:  Two fledgling criminals (read: idiots) kidnap a pizza delivery guy strap a bomb to his chest and tell him he has mere hours to rob a bank for them or else... yep, that's comedy folks.
Why I'd see it:  I like Aziz Ansari and Jesse Eisenberg. Sometimes, it doesn't take much to make it on my list.

Fright Night (8/19)
Who's in it:  Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, David Tennant, Toni Collette, Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Directed by Craig Gillespie.
What's the gist:  A teenager suspects that his new neighbor is really a vampire responsible for a string of deaths around town and takes it upon himself to stop the baddie.
Why I'd see it:  Toni Collette and Anton Yelchin are excellent actors, but really, I'm just excited to see DAVID TENNANT!!!

One Day (8/19)
Who's in it:  Anne Hathaway, Jim Sturgess, Patricia Clarkson, Romola Garai; Directed by Lone Scherfig.
What's the gist:  After meeting at their college graduation and spending the night together,this romantic drama shows us Emma and Dexter on the same day (July 15) every year for two decades to reveal how they are fairing in life and love. Based on the novel by David Nicholls.
Why I'd see it:  You all know of my Anne Hathaway girl-crush by now. Patricia Clarkson always plays interesting characters and is a great actress.  I think the date-specific timing in the plot could be an interesting storytelling aspect. And, yes, there is that marshmallowy-centered, hopeless romantic part of me that just wants to see a chick flick. 

Colombiana (8/26)
Who's in it:  Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue (Dead Like Me); Directed by Olivier Megaton
What's the gist:  As a girl Cataleya witnesses her parents' murder. She is raised by her uncle to be a top-tier assassin and then goes after the Colombian drug lord responsible for the execution of her parents.
Why I'd see it:  This story comes to us from Luc Besson, writer behind Leon: The Professional, The Fifth Element and Taken, so the guy knows a thing or two about how to write a good action flick.  The trailer already tells us what to expect here, so my interest is in how she will carry out her vengeance; it's always fun watching how the bad guys get their comeuppance.  Lastly, Saldana is a great actress and pretty hot, so while this flick won't pass the Beckdel test, she's still bad-ass enough to earn my viewing.

Critical Review: Green Lantern & Bad Teacher

Green Lantern 
Sooo... yeah.  Ryan Reynolds is hot.  Blake Lively is pretty easy on the eyes as well.  The graphics were well done.  And that's about it. I did spend about 15 minutes (spread throughout the viewing) trying to figure out from where I recognized the actor playing Sinestro (it's British actor Mark Strong, recently seen in Sherlock Holmes, and The Way Back). Oh, it did scored a bit point with me for **SPOILER** casting Tim Robbins as a complete douche-bag of a character and then killing him off.  You usually don't see that, I'm just saying.

The film equivalent of, say, a Stephanie Meyer book (disregarding, of course, the actual film adaptions of her books). The fact is, I've had bowel movements more complex than that plot and the acting, as it typically does, suffered for it. It was alright - I've seen better hero movies (The Dark Knight) and worse (Hulk) - but in the end it's a super hero dick flick featuring a moderately popular superhero. A shiney, brainless popcorn movie.  Not bad, but not good either.

Bad Teacher
Not surprisingly, this one gets a D+.  I know what you're thinking! That's higher than I expected too!
This movie had no real plot arch or character development. At the end, we really don't feel that Cameron Diaz's titular teacher has learned anything and certainly hasn't turned over a new leaf, she's simply made different (are we supposed to think better?) choices about what to do with her particularly vulgar and harsh skill set.  Oh, and she got a man; not the sugar daddy she originally went for, mind you, but one more fitted to her personality.

The comic points were awarded for the everchanging reason for Diaz's failed engagement at the beginning of the flick (the best involved peanut butter), for Justin Timberlake's O-face during the dry-hump scene (not something I needed/wanted to see, but funny), and lastly to Jason Segel being his-awesome-self.  Which brings about another point; they had Jason fucking Segel, why in the name of FSM didn't they use him?!  He just sort of popped in at moments and was rather downplayed.  Disappointing.  In the end however, I didn't expect to laugh as much as I did, so it got better than an F from this watcher.

What?! Lol!

Just flipped on the tele and the ending of The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement was on and I recognized someone among the cast.  Long before he was the new Captain Kirk, Chris Pine was Anne Hathaway's unexpected love interest in this Disney tween flick... and he had silly hair.  I love making random discoveries like this.

And now I'm changing the channel because some retched Hugh Grant romantic comedy is beginning.  Oh look! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban; perfect for a day of homework and blogging!