Coming Attractions: June & July

So life got in the way of the last few posts and, really, there wasn't much to highlight during April and May anyway; not many interesting flicks came out and I didn't get to see much of anything other than work, school and the occasional tele episode on my Netflix instant streaming.  And yes, I'm aware June has come and gone as well, but there was some stuff worth highlighting. Now, without further ado...


X-Men: First Class (6/3)*
Who's in it:  James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, Jennifer Lawrence, Rose Byrne; Directed by Matthew Vaughn.
What's the gist:  In the beginning - before Halle Berry's bad wigs (to match her acting?), Kelsey Grammar's blue fur and that abysmal Origins movie - Professor X and Magneto used to be mutant mates, fought a bad guy or two together, and sought to help other young rapscallions like themselves.
Why I'd see it:  Though it irks me that this telling of the beginnings of the X-Men cannon only vaguely follows that set out in the comic books, it looked pretty decent in the preview.  With a well chosen cast for the main characters (love those Brits) and set during an intriguing period of U.S. history, I figure this flick, at it's worst, will still be better than X-Men Origins:Wolverine.  Seriously, even the preview graphics are better than that entire movie's were. I have seen this one, so check back for my review in a bit.

Green Lantern (6/17)*
Who's in it:  Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Tim Robbins; Directed by Martin Campbell (Casino Royale).
What's the gist:  If you haven't figured it out yet, every DC or Marvel comic hero must have a movie now. This one is the latest; Hal Jordan is a fearless pilot who gets chosen by a dying alien and his magic ring to become one of the Green Lantern Corp - an intergalactic league o' protectors - and he has to save Earth from the space embodiment of fear, who has possessed his childhood acquaintance Hector (read: uber awkward nerd).  Oh and, of course, Blake Lively plays the gorgeous, sassy leading lady.
Why I'd see it:  Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are hot.  And there is some decent acting talent here, even though I know it will likely not be put to decent, let alone good, use.

Mr. Popper's Penguins (6/17)*
Who's in it:  Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury, Olivia Lovibond; Directed by Mark Waters (Spiderwick Chronicles).
What's the gist:  Tom Popper inherits 6, count 'em SIX, penguins from his dearly departed dad, let the hilarity and chaos ensue as he manuvers caring for the little, flippery dudes between spending time with his kids, staving off a malicious zoo keeper and trying a nail an important deal for the ol' job. 
Why I'd see it:  Penguins are cute and cool (literally and figuratively). Jim Carrey's not too bad either.

Bad Teacher (6/24)*
Who's in it:  Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake, Phyllis Smith (The Office); Directed by Jake Kasdan (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story).
What's the gist:  Diaz plays a foul-mouthed, under-achieving teacher who pursues a fellow teacher (Timberlake) after being dumped by her sugar-daddy. 
Why I'd see it:  I don't usually like Diaz, but I love Jason Segel. I also know a couple teachers, so the slight relation is vaguely appealing. Honestly I don't exactly have high expectations other than being a bit entertaining.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (7/1)
Who's in it:  Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, John Turturro, Patrick Dempsey,Tyrese Gibson; Directed by (who the fuck else?) Michael Bay.
What's the gist:  Our government lied to the Autobots (shocker) about a Cybertronian spacecraft that was discovered on the moon and now they won't help us as the Decpticons battle earth to reach the secrets of it's technology.
Why I'd see it:  Explosions... and that big robot worm thing crushing buildings... yep, that's about it. Like most of you, I saw the teaser trailer and thought, "That looked so awesome!" and then Michael Bay's name popped up and I went "Dammit!".

Ironclad (7/8)
Who's in it:  James Purefoy, Paul Giamatti, Kate Mara, Brian Cox, Jason Flemyng, Derek Jacobi; Directed by Jonathan English.
What's the gist:  Here is what IMDb told me, "In 13th-century England, a small group of Knights Templar fight to defend Rochester Castle against the tyrannical King John."  Well, John was a huge dick (and not the good kind of dick mind you).
Why I'd see it:  It's a bunch of good actors clanging swords in an alternative history movie... why not?!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part II (7/15)
Who's in it:  If you don't know who is in this by now, why are you reading this blog?
What's the gist:  "IT ALL ENDS." The big finale of what has spanned 14 years, 7 books, and soon to be 8 movies. Harry and Voldemort finally throw down bitches!
Why I'd see it:  We all knew this time would co- ***We interrupt our normally scheduled commentary for a moment of geek girl squeeing/ fan-gasm*** EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ***We now return you to our programming already in progress*** - good ol' cast of excellent UK actors will dole out their final performances in roles that have either been huge additions to their already stunning resumes or defined their very acting careers. You bet your wizards robes I'm going to see this multiple times and cry at least two of them at the deaths that occur.

Winnie the Pooh (7/15)
Who's in it:  The voice talents of Jim Cummings, John Cleese, and Craig Ferguson; Directed by Stephen J. Anderson and Don Hall.
What's the gist:  According to an IMDb contributor, "During an ordinary day in Hundred Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh sets out to find some honey. Misinterpreting a note from Christopher Robin, Pooh convinces Tigger, Rabbit, Piglet, Owl, Kanga, Roo, and Eeyore that their young friend has been captured by a creature named "Backson" and they set out to save him." Seriously, it's Pooh Bear, we're not expecting fucking Inception here now are we kids?
Why I'd see it:  Reason #1: Disney is finally getting back to good ol' school animation. #2 Nostalgia; I loved the original Winnie the Pooh movies and then the tele series of the 90's. #3 That trailer to the Keene song is fantastic. #4 Last, but not least, Craig Fucking Ferguson! Love that man.

Captain America: The First Avenger (7/22)
Who's in it:  Chris Evans (Scott Pilgrim vs the World), Hugo Weaving, Natalie Dormer (The Tudors), Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones; Directed by Joe Johnston (The Wolfman, October Sky).
What's the gist:  Steve Rogers is a wee wimpy dude, but with patriotic dedication coming out the wazoo. Thus, after being deemed unfit for the military, he signs up for a top secret experiment that turns him into the super hero Captain America to fight bad dudes and uphold American ideals. 
Why I'd see it:  I'm a nerd and it's another comic book-based movie that will lead to a full on Avengers movie; whether or not it'll be good, I have to see it.

Cowboys vs Aliens (7/29)
Who's in it:  Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Paul Dano; Directed by Jon Favreau.
What's the gist:  Seriously? With a title like that you have to ask?  Psh, OK, so it's 18-something-or-other, during the Wild West period of American history and Jake Lonergan wakes up without much of a clue as what's happened to him, but with a high-tech bracelet on his arm. Aliens descend to take over the Earth and a posse of cowboys fight 'em off.
Why I'd see it:  Because it looks craptacular! C'mon, with a title like that, how can one resist?! I also appreciate Favreau as a director and Daniel Craig as a hot, British actor.

The Guard (7/29)
Who's in it:  Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle and Mark Strong; Directed by John Michael McDonagh.
What's the gist:  A confrontational and unorthodox Irish police officer is teamed with an uptight FBI agent to investigate an international drug ring. 
Why I'd see it:  OK, that description sounds like a snooze,but just watch the trailer! I bust I gut laughing and Gleeson's line about his thought on drug dealers.

Smurfs (7/29)
Who's in it:  Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria, Jayma Mayes, with the voice talents of Jonathan Winters, Katy Perry, Alan Cumming, Fred Armison and Paul Reubens; Directed by Raja Gosnell.
What's the gist:  Based on the characters of the classic 80's cartoon, the little, magic, blue dudes and dudette are chased by evil wizard Gargamel out of their village causing them transport out of their magic world and into our reality, smack in the middle of NYC no less.
Why I'd see it:  I have accepted the inevitability that all of my beloved childhood cartoons are being remade into bastardized live-action + CG movies of their former greatness for the younger generations; the Scooby Doo, Chipmunks and Garfield flicks all looked like absolute crap of the not-even-worth-seeing-to-mock variety. That said, there is usually an exception to the norm and with the phenomenal talent of this cast, I'm tentatively hoping this will be that exception.


*In an odd twist, I've seen the first four movies on here in as many weeks after months without hitting a theater.  Check back for my reviews of them soon.