Cue mind-shattering nerdgasm...now.
Damn. I need a cigarette after that.
Monday, December 19, 2011
The Dark Knight Rises trailer
The official The Dark Knight Rises trailer has been released!!!
Cue mind-shattering nerdgasm...now.
Cue mind-shattering nerdgasm...now.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Coming Attractions: September Edition
I know you are probably saying to me/yourself, "But, September is almost over." And I'm replying, "Yeah. So? Fuck you."
The Debt (8/31)
Who's in it: Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, Ciaran Hinds, Sam Worthington; Directed by John Madden (Shakespeare in Love, Proof).
What's the gist: An espionage thriller that builds across two different time periods. In 1997, retired Mossad secret agents Rachel and Stefan receive disturbing news about their former colleague David. In 1966 the trio undertook a dangerous mission when they entered East Berlin and tracked down a Nazi war criminal, Vogel (a character loosely based on Mengele). They have been revered by their country for decades for their accomplishments on this mission - but was their work really finished?
Why I'd see it: Did you see that list of talent? All that tied up in a Holocaust espionage thriller? Fuck yeah I wan to see it.
Apollo 18 (9/2)
Who's in it: I dunno, they weren't listed on IMDb. Directed by Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego.
What's the gist: Decades-old footage from NASA's rumored Apollo 18 mission, where two American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, is found. The footage reveals the reason (aliens?) the U.S. has never returned to the moon.
Why I'd see it: This is a "maybe" on my list. I do like the idea of revisionist history which this clearly is. Also, while watching the trailer I found myself remembering the movie Moon with Sam Rockwell (great flick), which drew me into it a bit more. My disinclination comes in that the trailer also makes it look as though this could be just some horror flick, but possibly a decent one.
Contagion (9/9)
Who's in it: Marion Cotillard, Kate Winslet, Matt Damon, Gwenyth Paltrow, Laurence Fishburne, Jennifer Ehle, Dmetri Martin, Jude Law; Directed by Steven Soderbergh.
What's the gist: This drama follows the rapid progress of a lethal airborne virus. As the epidemic grows, we see the global medical community race to find a cure and control the panic that is spreading faster than the virus itself. We also see ordinary people struggle to survive a society slipping into chaos.
Why I'd see it: Not gonna lie, finding out Demitiri Martin plays a doctor in this increased my interest in seeing it a significant amount in comparison to my previous level of interest in seeing it. Otherwise it just seems like a modern reboot of 1995's Outbreak. The Dmitri Martin factor moves this one to the high end of the "maybe" list.
50/50 (9/30)
Who's in it: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick, Angelica Huston; Directed by Jonathan Levine
What's the gist: A comedic account of a 27-year-old man's cancer diagnosis and the subsequent life changes it causes as he goes about fighting it.
Why I'd see it: This flick is #1 on my list this month. The plot and trailer look HI.LAR.IOUS. I also love Joseph Gordon-Levitt. That man's talent could make an 5 minute artistic short of dropping a deuce in a paper sack appealing.
Dream House (9/30)
Who's in it: Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts; directed by Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot, The Boxer).
What's the gist: A man and his family relocate to a quaint New England town. They soon learn that a mother and her two daughters were murdered in the residence they've moved into. The man works with a local woman to piece together the disturbing puzzle.
Why I'd see it: The premise hints a bit at Amityville Horror, but the trailer hints that this is a darker, more supernatural plot and possibly a higher caliber of horror.
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (9/30)
Who's in it: Alan Tudyk, Tyler Labine; Directed by Eli Craig.
What's the gist: In the mountains of West Virginia, hillbilly pals Tucker and Dale just want to drink, fish, and relax at their cabin retreat, but their encounter with a group of college kids turns into a bloody, deadly (and funny) misunderstanding.
Why I'd see it: A spoofish play on all those horrible horror flicks involving stupid college/high school kids? Sure. Alan Tudyk is in it? Hell yes!
What's Your Number (9/30)
Who's in it: Anna Farris, Chris Evans, Martin Freeman, Aziz Ansari, Joel McHale, Zachary Quinto, Thams Lennon; Directed by Mark Mylod.
What's the gist: A woman looks back at the past twenty men she's had relationships with in her life and wonders if one of them might be her one true love
Why I'd see it: Yeah, it's clear where this romantic comedy is going, given that it was created by two female sitcom writers. Appealing to me is Chris Evans and the slew of comedic men that play Anna Farris's exes.
Other Bits
The Debt (8/31)
Who's in it: Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, Ciaran Hinds, Sam Worthington; Directed by John Madden (Shakespeare in Love, Proof).
What's the gist: An espionage thriller that builds across two different time periods. In 1997, retired Mossad secret agents Rachel and Stefan receive disturbing news about their former colleague David. In 1966 the trio undertook a dangerous mission when they entered East Berlin and tracked down a Nazi war criminal, Vogel (a character loosely based on Mengele). They have been revered by their country for decades for their accomplishments on this mission - but was their work really finished?
Why I'd see it: Did you see that list of talent? All that tied up in a Holocaust espionage thriller? Fuck yeah I wan to see it.
Apollo 18 (9/2)
Who's in it: I dunno, they weren't listed on IMDb. Directed by Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego.
What's the gist: Decades-old footage from NASA's rumored Apollo 18 mission, where two American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, is found. The footage reveals the reason (aliens?) the U.S. has never returned to the moon.
Why I'd see it: This is a "maybe" on my list. I do like the idea of revisionist history which this clearly is. Also, while watching the trailer I found myself remembering the movie Moon with Sam Rockwell (great flick), which drew me into it a bit more. My disinclination comes in that the trailer also makes it look as though this could be just some horror flick, but possibly a decent one.
Contagion (9/9)
Who's in it: Marion Cotillard, Kate Winslet, Matt Damon, Gwenyth Paltrow, Laurence Fishburne, Jennifer Ehle, Dmetri Martin, Jude Law; Directed by Steven Soderbergh.
What's the gist: This drama follows the rapid progress of a lethal airborne virus. As the epidemic grows, we see the global medical community race to find a cure and control the panic that is spreading faster than the virus itself. We also see ordinary people struggle to survive a society slipping into chaos.
Why I'd see it: Not gonna lie, finding out Demitiri Martin plays a doctor in this increased my interest in seeing it a significant amount in comparison to my previous level of interest in seeing it. Otherwise it just seems like a modern reboot of 1995's Outbreak. The Dmitri Martin factor moves this one to the high end of the "maybe" list.
50/50 (9/30)
Who's in it: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick, Angelica Huston; Directed by Jonathan Levine
What's the gist: A comedic account of a 27-year-old man's cancer diagnosis and the subsequent life changes it causes as he goes about fighting it.
Why I'd see it: This flick is #1 on my list this month. The plot and trailer look HI.LAR.IOUS. I also love Joseph Gordon-Levitt. That man's talent could make an 5 minute artistic short of dropping a deuce in a paper sack appealing.
Dream House (9/30)
Who's in it: Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts; directed by Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot, The Boxer).
What's the gist: A man and his family relocate to a quaint New England town. They soon learn that a mother and her two daughters were murdered in the residence they've moved into. The man works with a local woman to piece together the disturbing puzzle.
Why I'd see it: The premise hints a bit at Amityville Horror, but the trailer hints that this is a darker, more supernatural plot and possibly a higher caliber of horror.
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (9/30)
Who's in it: Alan Tudyk, Tyler Labine; Directed by Eli Craig.
What's the gist: In the mountains of West Virginia, hillbilly pals Tucker and Dale just want to drink, fish, and relax at their cabin retreat, but their encounter with a group of college kids turns into a bloody, deadly (and funny) misunderstanding.
Why I'd see it: A spoofish play on all those horrible horror flicks involving stupid college/high school kids? Sure. Alan Tudyk is in it? Hell yes!
What's Your Number (9/30)
Who's in it: Anna Farris, Chris Evans, Martin Freeman, Aziz Ansari, Joel McHale, Zachary Quinto, Thams Lennon; Directed by Mark Mylod.
What's the gist: A woman looks back at the past twenty men she's had relationships with in her life and wonders if one of them might be her one true love
Why I'd see it: Yeah, it's clear where this romantic comedy is going, given that it was created by two female sitcom writers. Appealing to me is Chris Evans and the slew of comedic men that play Anna Farris's exes.
Other Bits
- There's a quirky relationship flick with limited [LA/NYC] release titled Restless that looks to have some precious potential. Directed by Gus Van Sant, it stars Mia Wasikowska (Alice in Wonderland)as a terminally ill girl who falls for a boy, played by Henry Hopper (son of Dennis), who likes to attend funerals. Throw in their interactions with the ghost of a WWII Japanese kamikaze pilot (played by Ryo Kase) and this flick smacks of something I want to see. Hope it hits our neck of the woods soon.
- Machine Gun Preacher - The title + Gerard Butler's involvement totally makes it sound like something I'd see! The trailer makes it clear that this flick is way to inspirational/touching for my current mood. This will be a Netflixer for sure.
- Disney re-releases The Lion King into theaters, now in 3D. Way to beat a dead zebra Disney. How about coming out with something equally good, original and not PIXAR animated?
- Moneyball - I don't care enough about the talent involved or baseball to see this flick that's already getting Oscar gossip.
Friday, August 5, 2011
First Glimpse of Hathaway as Catwoman
Warner Bros. released the first promo image of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman this week!
Hathaway can't reveal much about the role ("I signed a blood oath" she says), but she is looking forward to portraying such an iconic character.
"I want to be the best actress I can be and that means working with the best people and taking the most challenging roles," she tells Total Film. "That's the plan and so far it's led to some really exciting places."
Frankly Anne, I'm just excited Catwoman/ you get that bad ass bike!
(photo and quote source)
"I want to be the best actress I can be and that means working with the best people and taking the most challenging roles," she tells Total Film. "That's the plan and so far it's led to some really exciting places."
Frankly Anne, I'm just excited Catwoman/ you get that bad ass bike!
(photo and quote source)
Coming Attractions: August Edition
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (8/5)
Who's in it: James Franco, Frieda Pinto, John Lithgow, Andy Serkis, Brian Cox; Directed by Rupert Wyatt
What's the gist: A scientist (Franco) is developing a cure for Alzheimer's and performs a test on a chimp named Caesar. The experiment results in Caesar gaining advanced intelligence and bringing about a war for supremacy between humans and apes.
Why I'd see it: I've only seen one other film within the series, so I'm not exactly a fan. That said, this trailer looks phenomenal. And the origin story is usually the most interesting, this one looks to be no exception. They lined up a great cast (hey look, it's John Lithgow!) and the effects are done by the spectacular Weta Workshop (masters behind The Lord of the Rings films among others). Lastly, I'm looking forward to watching Tom Felton (aka Draco Malfoy) get beat up by some apes.
The Whistleblower (8/5)
Who's in it: Rachel Weisz, David Strathairn, Monica Bellucci, Vanessa Redgrave; Directed by Larysa Kondracki.
What's the gist: Weisz portrays Kathryn Bolkovac, a cop out of Nebraska serving as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia. In the course of doing her job, she outs the U.N. for covering sex trafficking. This is a drama based on real events.
Why I'd see it: I'm a sucker for a talented cast. I also occasionally enjoy the not-so-happy ending that independent films usually offer and this one seems a ringer for that.
30 Minutes or Less (8/12)
Who's in it: Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari, Nick Swardson; Directed by Ruben Fleischer.
What's the gist: Two fledgling criminals (read: idiots) kidnap a pizza delivery guy strap a bomb to his chest and tell him he has mere hours to rob a bank for them or else... yep, that's comedy folks.
Why I'd see it: I like Aziz Ansari and Jesse Eisenberg. Sometimes, it doesn't take much to make it on my list.
Fright Night (8/19)
Who's in it: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, David Tennant, Toni Collette, Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Directed by Craig Gillespie.
What's the gist: A teenager suspects that his new neighbor is really a vampire responsible for a string of deaths around town and takes it upon himself to stop the baddie.
Why I'd see it: Toni Collette and Anton Yelchin are excellent actors, but really, I'm just excited to see DAVID TENNANT!!!
One Day (8/19)
Who's in it: Anne Hathaway, Jim Sturgess, Patricia Clarkson, Romola Garai; Directed by Lone Scherfig.
What's the gist: After meeting at their college graduation and spending the night together,this romantic drama shows us Emma and Dexter on the same day (July 15) every year for two decades to reveal how they are fairing in life and love. Based on the novel by David Nicholls.
Why I'd see it: You all know of my Anne Hathaway girl-crush by now. Patricia Clarkson always plays interesting characters and is a great actress. I think the date-specific timing in the plot could be an interesting storytelling aspect. And, yes, there is that marshmallowy-centered, hopeless romantic part of me that just wants to see a chick flick.
Colombiana (8/26)
Who's in it: Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue (Dead Like Me); Directed by Olivier Megaton
What's the gist: As a girl Cataleya witnesses her parents' murder. She is raised by her uncle to be a top-tier assassin and then goes after the Colombian drug lord responsible for the execution of her parents.
Why I'd see it: This story comes to us from Luc Besson, writer behind Leon: The Professional, The Fifth Element and Taken, so the guy knows a thing or two about how to write a good action flick. The trailer already tells us what to expect here, so my interest is in how she will carry out her vengeance; it's always fun watching how the bad guys get their comeuppance. Lastly, Saldana is a great actress and pretty hot, so while this flick won't pass the Beckdel test, she's still bad-ass enough to earn my viewing.
Who's in it: James Franco, Frieda Pinto, John Lithgow, Andy Serkis, Brian Cox; Directed by Rupert Wyatt
What's the gist: A scientist (Franco) is developing a cure for Alzheimer's and performs a test on a chimp named Caesar. The experiment results in Caesar gaining advanced intelligence and bringing about a war for supremacy between humans and apes.
Why I'd see it: I've only seen one other film within the series, so I'm not exactly a fan. That said, this trailer looks phenomenal. And the origin story is usually the most interesting, this one looks to be no exception. They lined up a great cast (hey look, it's John Lithgow!) and the effects are done by the spectacular Weta Workshop (masters behind The Lord of the Rings films among others). Lastly, I'm looking forward to watching Tom Felton (aka Draco Malfoy) get beat up by some apes.
The Whistleblower (8/5)
Who's in it: Rachel Weisz, David Strathairn, Monica Bellucci, Vanessa Redgrave; Directed by Larysa Kondracki.
What's the gist: Weisz portrays Kathryn Bolkovac, a cop out of Nebraska serving as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia. In the course of doing her job, she outs the U.N. for covering sex trafficking. This is a drama based on real events.
Why I'd see it: I'm a sucker for a talented cast. I also occasionally enjoy the not-so-happy ending that independent films usually offer and this one seems a ringer for that.
30 Minutes or Less (8/12)
Who's in it: Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari, Nick Swardson; Directed by Ruben Fleischer.
What's the gist: Two fledgling criminals (read: idiots) kidnap a pizza delivery guy strap a bomb to his chest and tell him he has mere hours to rob a bank for them or else... yep, that's comedy folks.
Why I'd see it: I like Aziz Ansari and Jesse Eisenberg. Sometimes, it doesn't take much to make it on my list.
Fright Night (8/19)
Who's in it: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, David Tennant, Toni Collette, Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Directed by Craig Gillespie.
What's the gist: A teenager suspects that his new neighbor is really a vampire responsible for a string of deaths around town and takes it upon himself to stop the baddie.
Why I'd see it: Toni Collette and Anton Yelchin are excellent actors, but really, I'm just excited to see DAVID TENNANT!!!
One Day (8/19)
Who's in it: Anne Hathaway, Jim Sturgess, Patricia Clarkson, Romola Garai; Directed by Lone Scherfig.
What's the gist: After meeting at their college graduation and spending the night together,this romantic drama shows us Emma and Dexter on the same day (July 15) every year for two decades to reveal how they are fairing in life and love. Based on the novel by David Nicholls.
Why I'd see it: You all know of my Anne Hathaway girl-crush by now. Patricia Clarkson always plays interesting characters and is a great actress. I think the date-specific timing in the plot could be an interesting storytelling aspect. And, yes, there is that marshmallowy-centered, hopeless romantic part of me that just wants to see a chick flick.
Colombiana (8/26)
Who's in it: Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue (Dead Like Me); Directed by Olivier Megaton
What's the gist: As a girl Cataleya witnesses her parents' murder. She is raised by her uncle to be a top-tier assassin and then goes after the Colombian drug lord responsible for the execution of her parents.
Why I'd see it: This story comes to us from Luc Besson, writer behind Leon: The Professional, The Fifth Element and Taken, so the guy knows a thing or two about how to write a good action flick. The trailer already tells us what to expect here, so my interest is in how she will carry out her vengeance; it's always fun watching how the bad guys get their comeuppance. Lastly, Saldana is a great actress and pretty hot, so while this flick won't pass the Beckdel test, she's still bad-ass enough to earn my viewing.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Critical Review: Green Lantern & Bad Teacher
Green Lantern
Sooo... yeah. Ryan Reynolds is hot. Blake Lively is pretty easy on the eyes as well. The graphics were well done. And that's about it. I did spend about 15 minutes (spread throughout the viewing) trying to figure out from where I recognized the actor playing Sinestro (it's British actor Mark Strong, recently seen in Sherlock Holmes, and The Way Back). Oh, it did scored a bit point with me for **SPOILER** casting Tim Robbins as a complete douche-bag of a character and then killing him off. You usually don't see that, I'm just saying.
The film equivalent of, say, a Stephanie Meyer book (disregarding, of course, the actual film adaptions of her books). The fact is, I've had bowel movements more complex than that plot and the acting, as it typically does, suffered for it. It was alright - I've seen better hero movies (The Dark Knight) and worse (Hulk) - but in the end it's a super hero dick flick featuring a moderately popular superhero. A shiney, brainless popcorn movie. Not bad, but not good either.
Bad Teacher
Not surprisingly, this one gets a D+. I know what you're thinking! That's higher than I expected too!
This movie had no real plot arch or character development. At the end, we really don't feel that Cameron Diaz's titular teacher has learned anything and certainly hasn't turned over a new leaf, she's simply made different (are we supposed to think better?) choices about what to do with her particularly vulgar and harsh skill set. Oh, and she got a man; not the sugar daddy she originally went for, mind you, but one more fitted to her personality.
The comic points were awarded for the everchanging reason for Diaz's failed engagement at the beginning of the flick (the best involved peanut butter), for Justin Timberlake's O-face during the dry-hump scene (not something I needed/wanted to see, but funny), and lastly to Jason Segel being his-awesome-self. Which brings about another point; they had Jason fucking Segel, why in the name of FSM didn't they use him?! He just sort of popped in at moments and was rather downplayed. Disappointing. In the end however, I didn't expect to laugh as much as I did, so it got better than an F from this watcher.
Sooo... yeah. Ryan Reynolds is hot. Blake Lively is pretty easy on the eyes as well. The graphics were well done. And that's about it. I did spend about 15 minutes (spread throughout the viewing) trying to figure out from where I recognized the actor playing Sinestro (it's British actor Mark Strong, recently seen in Sherlock Holmes, and The Way Back). Oh, it did scored a bit point with me for **SPOILER** casting Tim Robbins as a complete douche-bag of a character and then killing him off. You usually don't see that, I'm just saying.
The film equivalent of, say, a Stephanie Meyer book (disregarding, of course, the actual film adaptions of her books). The fact is, I've had bowel movements more complex than that plot and the acting, as it typically does, suffered for it. It was alright - I've seen better hero movies (The Dark Knight) and worse (Hulk) - but in the end it's a super hero dick flick featuring a moderately popular superhero. A shiney, brainless popcorn movie. Not bad, but not good either.
Bad Teacher
Not surprisingly, this one gets a D+. I know what you're thinking! That's higher than I expected too!
This movie had no real plot arch or character development. At the end, we really don't feel that Cameron Diaz's titular teacher has learned anything and certainly hasn't turned over a new leaf, she's simply made different (are we supposed to think better?) choices about what to do with her particularly vulgar and harsh skill set. Oh, and she got a man; not the sugar daddy she originally went for, mind you, but one more fitted to her personality.
The comic points were awarded for the everchanging reason for Diaz's failed engagement at the beginning of the flick (the best involved peanut butter), for Justin Timberlake's O-face during the dry-hump scene (not something I needed/wanted to see, but funny), and lastly to Jason Segel being his-awesome-self. Which brings about another point; they had Jason fucking Segel, why in the name of FSM didn't they use him?! He just sort of popped in at moments and was rather downplayed. Disappointing. In the end however, I didn't expect to laugh as much as I did, so it got better than an F from this watcher.
What?! Lol!
Just flipped on the tele and the ending of The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement was on and I recognized someone among the cast. Long before he was the new Captain Kirk, Chris Pine was Anne Hathaway's unexpected love interest in this Disney tween flick... and he had silly hair. I love making random discoveries like this.
And now I'm changing the channel because some retched Hugh Grant romantic comedy is beginning. Oh look! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban; perfect for a day of homework and blogging!
And now I'm changing the channel because some retched Hugh Grant romantic comedy is beginning. Oh look! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban; perfect for a day of homework and blogging!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Coming Attractions: June & July
So life got in the way of the last few posts and, really, there wasn't much to highlight during April and May anyway; not many interesting flicks came out and I didn't get to see much of anything other than work, school and the occasional tele episode on my Netflix instant streaming. And yes, I'm aware June has come and gone as well, but there was some stuff worth highlighting. Now, without further ado...
X-Men: First Class (6/3)*
Who's in it: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, Jennifer Lawrence, Rose Byrne; Directed by Matthew Vaughn.
What's the gist: In the beginning - before Halle Berry's bad wigs (to match her acting?), Kelsey Grammar's blue fur and that abysmal Origins movie - Professor X and Magneto used to be mutant mates, fought a bad guy or two together, and sought to help other young rapscallions like themselves.
Why I'd see it: Though it irks me that this telling of the beginnings of the X-Men cannon only vaguely follows that set out in the comic books, it looked pretty decent in the preview. With a well chosen cast for the main characters (love those Brits) and set during an intriguing period of U.S. history, I figure this flick, at it's worst, will still be better than X-Men Origins:Wolverine. Seriously, even the preview graphics are better than that entire movie's were. I have seen this one, so check back for my review in a bit.
Green Lantern (6/17)*
Who's in it: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Tim Robbins; Directed by Martin Campbell (Casino Royale).
What's the gist: If you haven't figured it out yet, every DC or Marvel comic hero must have a movie now. This one is the latest; Hal Jordan is a fearless pilot who gets chosen by a dying alien and his magic ring to become one of the Green Lantern Corp - an intergalactic league o' protectors - and he has to save Earth from the space embodiment of fear, who has possessed his childhood acquaintance Hector (read: uber awkward nerd). Oh and, of course, Blake Lively plays the gorgeous, sassy leading lady.
Why I'd see it: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are hot. And there is some decent acting talent here, even though I know it will likely not be put to decent, let alone good, use.
Mr. Popper's Penguins (6/17)*
Who's in it: Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury, Olivia Lovibond; Directed by Mark Waters (Spiderwick Chronicles).
What's the gist: Tom Popper inherits 6, count 'em SIX, penguins from his dearly departed dad, let the hilarity and chaos ensue as he manuvers caring for the little, flippery dudes between spending time with his kids, staving off a malicious zoo keeper and trying a nail an important deal for the ol' job.
Why I'd see it: Penguins are cute and cool (literally and figuratively). Jim Carrey's not too bad either.
Bad Teacher (6/24)*
Who's in it: Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake, Phyllis Smith (The Office); Directed by Jake Kasdan (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story).
What's the gist: Diaz plays a foul-mouthed, under-achieving teacher who pursues a fellow teacher (Timberlake) after being dumped by her sugar-daddy.
Why I'd see it: I don't usually like Diaz, but I love Jason Segel. I also know a couple teachers, so the slight relation is vaguely appealing. Honestly I don't exactly have high expectations other than being a bit entertaining.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (7/1)
Who's in it: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, John Turturro, Patrick Dempsey,Tyrese Gibson; Directed by (who the fuck else?) Michael Bay.
What's the gist: Our government lied to the Autobots (shocker) about a Cybertronian spacecraft that was discovered on the moon and now they won't help us as the Decpticons battle earth to reach the secrets of it's technology.
Why I'd see it: Explosions... and that big robot worm thing crushing buildings... yep, that's about it. Like most of you, I saw the teaser trailer and thought, "That looked so awesome!" and then Michael Bay's name popped up and I went "Dammit!".
Ironclad (7/8)
Who's in it: James Purefoy, Paul Giamatti, Kate Mara, Brian Cox, Jason Flemyng, Derek Jacobi; Directed by Jonathan English.
What's the gist: Here is what IMDb told me, "In 13th-century England, a small group of Knights Templar fight to defend Rochester Castle against the tyrannical King John." Well, John was a huge dick (and not the good kind of dick mind you).
Why I'd see it: It's a bunch of good actors clanging swords in an alternative history movie... why not?!
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part II (7/15)
Who's in it: If you don't know who is in this by now, why are you reading this blog?
What's the gist: "IT ALL ENDS." The big finale of what has spanned 14 years, 7 books, and soon to be 8 movies. Harry and Voldemort finally throw down bitches!
Why I'd see it: We all knew this time would co- ***We interrupt our normally scheduled commentary for a moment of geek girl squeeing/ fan-gasm*** EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ***We now return you to our programming already in progress*** - good ol' cast of excellent UK actors will dole out their final performances in roles that have either been huge additions to their already stunning resumes or defined their very acting careers. You bet your wizards robes I'm going to see this multiple times and cry at least two of them at the deaths that occur.
Winnie the Pooh (7/15)
Who's in it: The voice talents of Jim Cummings, John Cleese, and Craig Ferguson; Directed by Stephen J. Anderson and Don Hall.
What's the gist: According to an IMDb contributor, "During an ordinary day in Hundred Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh sets out to find some honey. Misinterpreting a note from Christopher Robin, Pooh convinces Tigger, Rabbit, Piglet, Owl, Kanga, Roo, and Eeyore that their young friend has been captured by a creature named "Backson" and they set out to save him." Seriously, it's Pooh Bear, we're not expecting fucking Inception here now are we kids?
Why I'd see it: Reason #1: Disney is finally getting back to good ol' school animation. #2 Nostalgia; I loved the original Winnie the Pooh movies and then the tele series of the 90's. #3 That trailer to the Keene song is fantastic. #4 Last, but not least, Craig Fucking Ferguson! Love that man.
Captain America: The First Avenger (7/22)
Who's in it: Chris Evans (Scott Pilgrim vs the World), Hugo Weaving, Natalie Dormer (The Tudors), Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones; Directed by Joe Johnston (The Wolfman, October Sky).
What's the gist: Steve Rogers is a wee wimpy dude, but with patriotic dedication coming out the wazoo. Thus, after being deemed unfit for the military, he signs up for a top secret experiment that turns him into the super hero Captain America to fight bad dudes and uphold American ideals.
Why I'd see it: I'm a nerd and it's another comic book-based movie that will lead to a full on Avengers movie; whether or not it'll be good, I have to see it.
Cowboys vs Aliens (7/29)
Who's in it: Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Paul Dano; Directed by Jon Favreau.
What's the gist: Seriously? With a title like that you have to ask? Psh, OK, so it's 18-something-or-other, during the Wild West period of American history and Jake Lonergan wakes up without much of a clue as what's happened to him, but with a high-tech bracelet on his arm. Aliens descend to take over the Earth and a posse of cowboys fight 'em off.
Why I'd see it: Because it looks craptacular! C'mon, with a title like that, how can one resist?! I also appreciate Favreau as a director and Daniel Craig as a hot, British actor.
The Guard (7/29)
Who's in it: Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle and Mark Strong; Directed by John Michael McDonagh.
What's the gist: A confrontational and unorthodox Irish police officer is teamed with an uptight FBI agent to investigate an international drug ring.
Why I'd see it: OK, that description sounds like a snooze,but just watch the trailer! I bust I gut laughing and Gleeson's line about his thought on drug dealers.
Smurfs (7/29)
Who's in it: Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria, Jayma Mayes, with the voice talents of Jonathan Winters, Katy Perry, Alan Cumming, Fred Armison and Paul Reubens; Directed by Raja Gosnell.
What's the gist: Based on the characters of the classic 80's cartoon, the little, magic, blue dudes and dudette are chased by evil wizard Gargamel out of their village causing them transport out of their magic world and into our reality, smack in the middle of NYC no less.
Why I'd see it: I have accepted the inevitability that all of my beloved childhood cartoons are being remade into bastardized live-action + CG movies of their former greatness for the younger generations; the Scooby Doo, Chipmunks and Garfield flicks all looked like absolute crap of the not-even-worth-seeing-to-mock variety. That said, there is usually an exception to the norm and with the phenomenal talent of this cast, I'm tentatively hoping this will be that exception.
*In an odd twist, I've seen the first four movies on here in as many weeks after months without hitting a theater. Check back for my reviews of them soon.
X-Men: First Class (6/3)*
Who's in it: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, Jennifer Lawrence, Rose Byrne; Directed by Matthew Vaughn.
What's the gist: In the beginning - before Halle Berry's bad wigs (to match her acting?), Kelsey Grammar's blue fur and that abysmal Origins movie - Professor X and Magneto used to be mutant mates, fought a bad guy or two together, and sought to help other young rapscallions like themselves.
Why I'd see it: Though it irks me that this telling of the beginnings of the X-Men cannon only vaguely follows that set out in the comic books, it looked pretty decent in the preview. With a well chosen cast for the main characters (love those Brits) and set during an intriguing period of U.S. history, I figure this flick, at it's worst, will still be better than X-Men Origins:Wolverine. Seriously, even the preview graphics are better than that entire movie's were. I have seen this one, so check back for my review in a bit.
Green Lantern (6/17)*
Who's in it: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Tim Robbins; Directed by Martin Campbell (Casino Royale).
What's the gist: If you haven't figured it out yet, every DC or Marvel comic hero must have a movie now. This one is the latest; Hal Jordan is a fearless pilot who gets chosen by a dying alien and his magic ring to become one of the Green Lantern Corp - an intergalactic league o' protectors - and he has to save Earth from the space embodiment of fear, who has possessed his childhood acquaintance Hector (read: uber awkward nerd). Oh and, of course, Blake Lively plays the gorgeous, sassy leading lady.
Why I'd see it: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are hot. And there is some decent acting talent here, even though I know it will likely not be put to decent, let alone good, use.
Mr. Popper's Penguins (6/17)*
Who's in it: Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury, Olivia Lovibond; Directed by Mark Waters (Spiderwick Chronicles).
What's the gist: Tom Popper inherits 6, count 'em SIX, penguins from his dearly departed dad, let the hilarity and chaos ensue as he manuvers caring for the little, flippery dudes between spending time with his kids, staving off a malicious zoo keeper and trying a nail an important deal for the ol' job.
Why I'd see it: Penguins are cute and cool (literally and figuratively). Jim Carrey's not too bad either.
Bad Teacher (6/24)*
Who's in it: Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake, Phyllis Smith (The Office); Directed by Jake Kasdan (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story).
What's the gist: Diaz plays a foul-mouthed, under-achieving teacher who pursues a fellow teacher (Timberlake) after being dumped by her sugar-daddy.
Why I'd see it: I don't usually like Diaz, but I love Jason Segel. I also know a couple teachers, so the slight relation is vaguely appealing. Honestly I don't exactly have high expectations other than being a bit entertaining.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (7/1)
Who's in it: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, John Turturro, Patrick Dempsey,Tyrese Gibson; Directed by (who the fuck else?) Michael Bay.
What's the gist: Our government lied to the Autobots (shocker) about a Cybertronian spacecraft that was discovered on the moon and now they won't help us as the Decpticons battle earth to reach the secrets of it's technology.
Why I'd see it: Explosions... and that big robot worm thing crushing buildings... yep, that's about it. Like most of you, I saw the teaser trailer and thought, "That looked so awesome!" and then Michael Bay's name popped up and I went "Dammit!".
Ironclad (7/8)
Who's in it: James Purefoy, Paul Giamatti, Kate Mara, Brian Cox, Jason Flemyng, Derek Jacobi; Directed by Jonathan English.
What's the gist: Here is what IMDb told me, "In 13th-century England, a small group of Knights Templar fight to defend Rochester Castle against the tyrannical King John." Well, John was a huge dick (and not the good kind of dick mind you).
Why I'd see it: It's a bunch of good actors clanging swords in an alternative history movie... why not?!
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part II (7/15)
Who's in it: If you don't know who is in this by now, why are you reading this blog?
What's the gist: "IT ALL ENDS." The big finale of what has spanned 14 years, 7 books, and soon to be 8 movies. Harry and Voldemort finally throw down bitches!
Why I'd see it: We all knew this time would co- ***We interrupt our normally scheduled commentary for a moment of geek girl squeeing/ fan-gasm*** EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ***We now return you to our programming already in progress*** - good ol' cast of excellent UK actors will dole out their final performances in roles that have either been huge additions to their already stunning resumes or defined their very acting careers. You bet your wizards robes I'm going to see this multiple times and cry at least two of them at the deaths that occur.
Winnie the Pooh (7/15)
Who's in it: The voice talents of Jim Cummings, John Cleese, and Craig Ferguson; Directed by Stephen J. Anderson and Don Hall.
What's the gist: According to an IMDb contributor, "During an ordinary day in Hundred Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh sets out to find some honey. Misinterpreting a note from Christopher Robin, Pooh convinces Tigger, Rabbit, Piglet, Owl, Kanga, Roo, and Eeyore that their young friend has been captured by a creature named "Backson" and they set out to save him." Seriously, it's Pooh Bear, we're not expecting fucking Inception here now are we kids?
Why I'd see it: Reason #1: Disney is finally getting back to good ol' school animation. #2 Nostalgia; I loved the original Winnie the Pooh movies and then the tele series of the 90's. #3 That trailer to the Keene song is fantastic. #4 Last, but not least, Craig Fucking Ferguson! Love that man.
Captain America: The First Avenger (7/22)
Who's in it: Chris Evans (Scott Pilgrim vs the World), Hugo Weaving, Natalie Dormer (The Tudors), Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones; Directed by Joe Johnston (The Wolfman, October Sky).
What's the gist: Steve Rogers is a wee wimpy dude, but with patriotic dedication coming out the wazoo. Thus, after being deemed unfit for the military, he signs up for a top secret experiment that turns him into the super hero Captain America to fight bad dudes and uphold American ideals.
Why I'd see it: I'm a nerd and it's another comic book-based movie that will lead to a full on Avengers movie; whether or not it'll be good, I have to see it.
Cowboys vs Aliens (7/29)
Who's in it: Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Paul Dano; Directed by Jon Favreau.
What's the gist: Seriously? With a title like that you have to ask? Psh, OK, so it's 18-something-or-other, during the Wild West period of American history and Jake Lonergan wakes up without much of a clue as what's happened to him, but with a high-tech bracelet on his arm. Aliens descend to take over the Earth and a posse of cowboys fight 'em off.
Why I'd see it: Because it looks craptacular! C'mon, with a title like that, how can one resist?! I also appreciate Favreau as a director and Daniel Craig as a hot, British actor.
The Guard (7/29)
Who's in it: Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle and Mark Strong; Directed by John Michael McDonagh.
What's the gist: A confrontational and unorthodox Irish police officer is teamed with an uptight FBI agent to investigate an international drug ring.
Why I'd see it: OK, that description sounds like a snooze,but just watch the trailer! I bust I gut laughing and Gleeson's line about his thought on drug dealers.
Smurfs (7/29)
Who's in it: Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria, Jayma Mayes, with the voice talents of Jonathan Winters, Katy Perry, Alan Cumming, Fred Armison and Paul Reubens; Directed by Raja Gosnell.
What's the gist: Based on the characters of the classic 80's cartoon, the little, magic, blue dudes and dudette are chased by evil wizard Gargamel out of their village causing them transport out of their magic world and into our reality, smack in the middle of NYC no less.
Why I'd see it: I have accepted the inevitability that all of my beloved childhood cartoons are being remade into bastardized live-action + CG movies of their former greatness for the younger generations; the Scooby Doo, Chipmunks and Garfield flicks all looked like absolute crap of the not-even-worth-seeing-to-mock variety. That said, there is usually an exception to the norm and with the phenomenal talent of this cast, I'm tentatively hoping this will be that exception.
*In an odd twist, I've seen the first four movies on here in as many weeks after months without hitting a theater. Check back for my reviews of them soon.
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